I have touched on this a bit before , but thought as I write the next masterpiece, I would dive in again.
Why the hell not?
I started my writing journey many, many moons ago. Wrote three novels as part of my as yet to be published first trilogy. Submitted the first fiction novel in the series to multiple book agents. Waiting, hoping, that one would realize the fantastic book was the next million dollar seller. They would snatch me up and away we go on the ride of a lifetime.
Yeah, no such luck.
I persisted for some time in my search for representation, then as life does, I had to focus on the real world. My day job and travel for it paid the bills, so I stopped sending out letters and let the dust collect. Years passed as my busy existence kept me occupied, all the while the yearn for the author path nagging at my heels. Covid came and I got a break, so to speak.
The idea for Pandemic-19 and its spot in the Carmichael Trilogy came to life. The rest is history as Sins of the Father released as the second novel in the series and work on the third installment, Retribution, comes to fruition. My first series is still in the back of my mind, so what did I do?
I cracked that sucker open.
I began to re-read my first novel. Took in the sights and sounds that my head created to make the words fall onto the paper. Yes, paper in a spiral notebook because that’s how I wrote the first one. All on real paper before typing it all up.
I know. Way too much effort and duplicate work.
Well, as my eyes transported themselves over the letters, a realization occurred. One that took a very long time to hit home and cement itself in my brain. As writers we create worlds and stories for an audience. Sometimes it is simply for ourselves as a way to release our creativity. Mostly, it is with the intent for that book to see daylight and have readers the world over enjoy our storytelling prose. What smacked front and center?
I was too descriptive and all the reject letters were right.
Huh? What do you mean Mr. Writer?
Writing a good book is a fight for stability among your word choice. Authoring a great novel is like balancing on a razor’s edge. While the words utilized is paramount to creating the vision, using too many of them to describe a scene or interaction becomes a death sentence.
How so?
Well, that’s kind of the conundrum. As a writer, you need to set the tone and environment. Give readers a look at what’s happening before their eyes. Details about a character like a scar or hair color that paints a visual picture. A few words, then let imagination take control. Identify objects in a room that have meaning to an encounter or the dialog about to throw down, with just enough you see it through your lens. The problem is providing too much, adding an overabundance of pigment that the entire canvas is done, leaving absolutely nothing left for the reader to guess. You have grabbed them by the hand and led the whole way. And in the process, got bogged down to the point that the story slows to a crawl and loses its momentum.
Me? I blew it the first time. Way too much ochre painting the Mona Lisa for readers it ended up leaving nothing for people to fill in on their own. Throwing so much paint at the wall to create the scene that it immediately stops progression of the plot. The action shrivels and any dialog turns tepid.
That was my personal feedback. Theirs? Less heartless and more advice, but the meaning understood.
Seems a bit harsh writer guy?
I thought so for years. Then, with a fresh set of pupils after publishing my first novel and it finding success, I changed my mind. Completely. Wholeheartedly. Total agreement.
With, a caveat.
I have said I write my books as movies in my head. I see them with the backgrounds, people, all the details right there in my gray matter. Everything that goes on within acts as a conduit to my eyes that then types the letters on the screen. And, constructs what you, my wonderful readers, get to consume from my books. I provide the framework and you get to put the pieces together.
As, you see fit.
My first books had decent chapter lengths. Great plots and details that drew readers into the story. The issue I saw on reading with a different lens was that the action slowed down with the addition of too much drawing on the canvas. I really set an imaginative scene, but it bogged everything down creating an entire room of visuals. For instance, in the opening scene of my first novel there is a grandfather clock. It is based on a real antique that is intricate with its hand-painted artwork. The mechanisms too, they are hand-crafted and the sound they make is unique. Describing the seven foot tall behemoth really leaves little to think about.
That’s where it all fell down.
I realized that the visuals is what I see in my head. That’s fine and dandy, but as a reader myself, it is nice to draw my own conclusions when I read outside of my own works. Suspense the name of the game. Provide enough reference to the clock and then move on. In an actual movie, when someone walks into a room, do they stop at every object and look at it?
No.
They keep walking in to do whatever they are going to do. The objects are mere background noise. If something is important or relevant, they look at it briefly, pick it up and examine, or it makes a sound and they pay attention before moving on. The same idea works for novels. You cannot spend minutes and minutes in detail to perfect the atmosphere of what is going on before actually then getting to it. Movies don’t, and in reality, books shouldn’t either.
Let readers own experiences and references fill in the blanks.
If in an action movie a character stopped to smell all the roses and take them all in, the camera panning left and right to show what all the person is seeing, forward movement stops cold. As someone watching, we wonder what the heck is going on. We were all on the edge of our seat, when all of a sudden, the brakes hit. The momentum stops cold turkey and we lose the anxiety of what is lurking behind the door.
Yawn.
Books can’t repeat that mistake. While there certainly is leeway to be slightly verbose, as writers, we have to get to the punch. When I looked back at my first works, I saw the flaws. The chapters were too long for the scene unfolding and the details so developed it stopped the flow of the action from its intended pace. I had taken everything that I saw inside my skull and put it to paper.
That, my cherished readers, was my failure.
Um, OK.
Too much is, well, too much. While descriptive words are paramount, there is a fine line. Set the tone or scene quick, and then get to it. This is true for the type of writing I do now within the suspense thriller arena with talons gripping the psychological element with science fiction undertones. My books move with action, keeping you on the front of your seat waiting with anticipation as to what drops next. It is the reason my chapters are short mini-stories, starting on an intense note and ending on one too. They are meant to keep you engaged and thinking about the plot and character interactions.
Not about what that damn sofa color is in the corner.
When I found my “voice” as a writer, that is when it all clicked. The agent feedback I then took to heart. Action is meant to move along as a steady pace if that’s what you are attempting to convey with the suspense keeping you on your toes. If you have ever seen a script for an award-winning movie, you get the idea. There is a very short few sentences that paint the scene detail. The rest, you see it onscreen that came from a set designer. Imagination is used by them to create what we see on film, and we as movie buffs see it all, but that’s it. We keep moving forward, our brain taking things in to process and what it doesn’t register we fill in ourselves from what we know.
Just like reading a novel.
You mentioned a caveat, author dude?
Ah, yes indeed. The balance, the razor’s edge. This is where I feel my voice has a strength that creates the drama and grabs my readers by the arm and never lets go. I would call it a tension, a use of words that pokes the forehead to get your attention with carefully worded descriptions, brief ones, that people can relate to from their own experiences. My books take place in real locations. Along streets that exist, in towns you may have visited. I draw from my past and travels. While I take some liberties, that is my prerogative as an author, I research like mad and put to paper what I have seen with my own eyes. While I cannot divulge too much as your security clearance isn’t up to snuff like mine, I write what I know.
Or, as my imagination allows me to share with all you wonderful souls.
That is the line I must straddle and given the positive response to Pandemic-19 and Sins of the Father based on sales so far, I believe I have hit the mark. Provide just enough of a taste to wet the lips and tongue and let tastebuds fill in the rest. After a nice gulp to satisfy the craving. That is the caveat in my mind. I don’t want to overdue the writing, putting adjectives and a host of synonyms to drone on and on. I have to strike a cord, offer a glimpse and let people make up their own minds. Provide a dram or two to enjoy, but not the whole damn Scotch bottle!
Overkill, no.
I have given examples in a previous post about the need to tame down the elocution when writing a book. Specifically, in the entertainment sphere of fiction writing where action and suspense rule. Literary fiction? Well, that is a whole other beast to tackle. More ability to drone on there and keep people intrigued.
I guess.
Think about how you explain your day to someone who asks. You might say you were in your office at work and heard a funny joke from a colleague. You tell the joke, the reaction, and a few other tidbits to conclude the story. What don’t you do?
Dive into what your office looks like, the clothes you were wearing, what the person who told the joke was wearing or looked like, anything at all about the setting. Maybe, just maybe, you mention you were standing near the water cooler. Does anyplace still have those? I digress. You might say you were in the office walking past Joe’s cubicle, that gives a visual, and stopped cold when he beckoned you back with a holler. You walked back and leaned against the opening wall while Joe, sitting laughing like crazy, tells the joke.
That’s it.
Retelling the experience to someone doesn’t paint an entire building. You provide a small amount of scene setting intel, the dialog, and then end it. The person listening fills everything else in within the confines of their head with visuals they imagine are what actually happened in a place they think they have seen.
And, they could be absolutely wrong.
But, that doesn’t matter. Really. The grab is the joke. Not where it occurred. The scene adds to the atmosphere, but not the meat of the bones. Getting bogged down in describing the where when a person can connect dots with the few details you provide, if you throw out too much, that’s the point where you lose. As a writer, that is the caveat to telling a great story. Realizing I must give snippets of descriptive words to lay a foundation, but leaving the rest to chance for my readers to plug the gaps. I have to tame my storytelling back in order to actually make it worthy.
And, it kills me every single time.
Jason McDonald 